So you've just heard about this "Twitter" thing and you're all juiced up to get online and start twitting [sic] the world with intimate details of your stomach's imminent contents and updates on the status of your dog's recent neutering (poor thing).

But wait! Before you're even on a roll, you find yourself suddenly unable to log in to Twitter.

Nooooo! Now how will you ask the world how to choose a flavor of ice cream to buy? Surely, you tell yourself, there must be some mistake. But no, it's the hard, cold truth - your Twitter account has been banned - er, suspended. But...